I think i peed on brittanys purse
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
