I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
