She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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