is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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