He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
