My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
