Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
