oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i think i just lost a toe
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
