Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
