I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
