forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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