I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
