They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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