It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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