i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
