Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
