just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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