Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nicole vs. Life
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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