As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
