She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
