69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
