i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
