she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We are all done wearing pants today
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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