Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
