Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
