you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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