Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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