I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
