Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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