Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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