Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
