she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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