I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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