i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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