I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Randomize
