YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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