they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
