so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
