It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
