How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
