I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
