i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
