We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize