you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
