i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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