Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize