I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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