so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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