We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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