he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
