You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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