i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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