butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
