How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize