So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
