i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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