I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
