I puked a lego.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
