Plan B is the new Plan A
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
