I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Everyone says I win the strip club
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
