I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
