i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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