Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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