My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
