Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
