Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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