Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
