She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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