Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
