So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
