Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
