she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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