Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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