I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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