my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
