but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
